I’m currently going through a period of reflection and understanding. I’m getting closer with myself and God and really delving into being present.
There comes a time when we all need time alone. Time to think, time to reflect, time to understand what it is that we truly want from life. It’s not easy to do when social media is at the forefront of our lives as millennials. It’s also not easy to do this when like me, you have a brand that can’t run without you actively running it. So therein lies the challenge. You want to keep going, but you also don’t necessarily want to give people updates, nor are you interested in the updates of others. You just want a blank space of nothingness.
Today you might wake up listening to instrumentals (James Horner, an all time favourite), or spending a couple hours playing the piano, or going to church and singing worship songs, or sipping mojitos on a secluded beach, or laughing till you cry with girlfriends at a sleepover and just generally and staying off the digital grid. I feel like I’m sometimes stuck in between. This in between feeling is probably why I haven’t grown as much as I should have on social media. (You won’t believe how often I’m told I’m underrated when people find out that I blog). But that’s the thing, a big part of me loves it, and the other part doesn’t like being so invested. It’s a weird one, which I’m still figuring out. There’s more to this conversation but we’ll pick it up later. 😉
Moving on to sharing. I find it quite difficult sharing what’s going on with me, especially to my friends. If there’s anyone I’m most open with, I’d say it’s my mum. Even then, I tend to struggle a bit. I never want to be a burden on other people and for whatever reason, that’s what I think I’m being when I decide to share. So what do I do when I’m hurt, upset or confused? I retreat, I back off, and as the title reads, I spend time alone. There’s also the issue of friends reactions when I ‘offload’ my feelings. I absolutely hate people feeling sorry for me and that’s what tends to happen after sharing. It’s bittersweet because although you appreciate the kind words, you don’t always want to hear potential solutions for your problems. Sometimes I just need an ear to listen and arms to hold me.
That being said, Runway Ribbons has become an outlet for gradual sharing, as I’m sure you noticed in my previous post. I’m a little more comfortable opening up because I feel like the numbers that read my blog aren’t ridiculously high, so it’s like our small little ‘book club’ where people read and then DM me expressing their love for my words or how relatable they found it. Then we all just go on about our lives. Haha! I know it all sounds a bit silly but hey, I’m human and this is how I feel.
These beautiful photos were taken at the lovely Dancers Hill House. A Georgian house set in an oasis of seclusion. Find out how you can win the house here. Yes, you read that right, you can WIN the entire house. I’ll be uploading more photos that I took at the house in the coming weeks.
Topshop Satin Dress (sold out), similar here